Two instruments in one! One moment it’s all driving lift, scratchy tone and blunt intonation, and with the flip of a switch it’s lush, tremolo-drenched fourth position bariolage.
If you only play one instrument, play this instrument. The Megataur is an elegant amalgamation of all the musical devices required for a successful session: bass guitar, 12-string guitar, 6-string guitar, mandolin and ukulele. 34 strings of soul-crushing acoustic power.
Full Metal Jacket Set
With these pipes, part traditional musical instrument, part rapid-fire assault weapon, one need no longer countenance uppity fiddlers or boorish punters. Constructed with the utmost concern for detail and ease of operation, the gat-uilleann features a take-no-prisoners styling reminiscent of the classic Irish pipe makers and gunsmiths. Air-cooled mechanism fires up to 200 rounds per minute without reloading. Key of Bb—if that’s ok with everyone?
Stroh Piano Accordion
No other session instrument will be heard, ever again. And good riddance to bad rubbish, we say. Solid brass bell amplifies the shy, retiring sound of the PA, to better compete with steam locomotives and jet aircraft.
Chromatic Tin Whistle
The last whistle you’ll ever need. Plays twelve equal tempered tones from middle C. Available in nickel and brass (pictured). Bakelite fipple.
Shaky Eggs Half Set
This magnificent collection of fully diatonic, professional-quality shaky eggs includes all the common keys played in top sessions. Cross-keying puts most modes within easy reach.
Traditional Irish Djembe
What session could possibly be complete without an authentic Irish djembe to keep everyone on the beat? These djembeanta are individually hand-crafted and proudly emblazoned with Ireland’s international coat-of-arms.
Vulcan Arse Flute Practice Chanter
A Selamderen 13-hole with D#/Gnat integrated drone system, 4-string regulator, and a triple fipple with five sympathetic blow back valves tuned to a chord of Bnat diminished. Factory-equipped with Ferengi-style anuspiece (as Humans are more similar to Ferengi than Vulcans in that area of anatomy- ladies may prefer the Cardassian style anuspice which is available at no upcharge). By using proper petomanic technique, five fully chromatic octaves are available—with the usual caveat that there are absolutely no D's at all. Its home mode/key is, of course, K blunt demented seventeenth, the traditional Vulcan tuning.